HAAASSTEEEEEEEG!!!

HAAASSTEEEEEEEG!!!

Why does he have a hammer?
He's a plumber…

Plumbers aren't restricted to carrying plungers, you hopeless chimp. Their tradesmen, hence hammer.
I hate you.

WE! AIN'T! NO! PLUMBERS! I'VE BEEN A REFEREE! I'VE BEEN A DOCTOR! HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A PLUNGER IN THESE HANDS?!

- Mario, There Will Be Brawl

and if ya like that, you'll love this: http://www.everything2.com/user/mcd

Super Mario Jrpg?!

After having been labeled a prodigy in his childhood, he couldn’t handle the expectations of the special school for hyperintelligent children he got sent to as a kid, and dropped out. Luigi, always having stood in Mario’s shadow, followed him wherever Mario went. Mario has always been the patronizing big brother, and couldn’t leave Luigi behind, seeing as Luigi is stricken with a light form of autism which renders his linguistic capabilities quasi nonexistent.
Feeling crushed under the pressure that his parents had put on his shoulders, Mario completely stopped conforming to the wishes of his parents and ran away from home, severing all his ties to his previous existence and settling for a life as hitchhikers.
Luigi, in his veiled mental state, never really realized the implications of Mario’s decisions, which he simply followed blindly since he’d been told to do so from an early age on.
Working freelance as plumbers, waiters, even part time as an illegal doctor (which even went as far as killing several people because of severe over-dosage on psychoactive pharmaceuticals), they travel the lands, still most of the time wearing their colored school uniforms (which because of the colors only seem to underline the differences between Mario and Luigi) and a pair of overalls they still have from their plumber job.
As a consequence to the constant pressure of day-to-day survival, social instability and dangerous lifestyle, Mario, who has to think for two, took up a bad habit of drug indigestion, which after some time developed into a fully fledged addiction. Luigi, being the constant copycat, even faked taking drugs to be more like his big brother.
Constant drug use and unresearched side effects of Mario’s favorite drugs – a kind of fungi – has rendered Mario’s body in a solemn shape and has slowed his growth substantially, while Luigi, not actually taking the drugs, grew quite tall. Unfortunately, the long years of shroom indigestion and life in a dream-like haze has rendered most of Mario’s grey matter dead, leaving him an infantile babbling, midget in desperate need of a shower, a change of clothes, and a barber shop.
The pair made their way through most of the world, meanwhile evading many criminal charges that were raised against them, but too long a period of carelessness has now found them both admitted to a psychiatric clinic. Mario has denied all contact with his father, who is not only mourning the loss of his sons, but also the subsequent suicide of his wife, Peach. Instead of conversation, all that Mario can produce are accusations of kidnapping and the inane ramblings of a madman.

– REAL WORLD MUSHROOM KINGDOM -

After having been labeled a prodigy in his childhood, he couldn’t handle the expectations of the special school for hyperintelligent children he got sent to as a kid, and dropped out. Luigi, always having stood in Mario’s shadow, followed him wherever Mario went. Mario has always been the patronizing big brother, and couldn’t leave Luigi behind, seeing as Luigi is stricken with a light form of autism which renders his linguistic capabilities quasi nonexistent.
Feeling crushed under the pressure that his parents had put on his shoulders, Mario completely stopped conforming to the wishes of his parents and ran away from home, severing all his ties to his previous existence and settling for a life as hitchhikers.
Luigi, in his veiled mental state, never really realized the implications of Mario’s decisions, which he simply followed blindly since he’d been told to do so from an early age on.
Working freelance as plumbers, waiters, even part time as an illegal doctor (which even went as far as killing several people because of severe over-dosage on psychoactive pharmaceuticals), they travel the lands, still most of the time wearing their colored school uniforms (which because of the colors only seem to underline the differences between Mario and Luigi) and a pair of overalls they still have from their plumber job.
As a consequence to the constant pressure of day-to-day survival, social instability and dangerous lifestyle, Mario, who has to think for two, took up a bad habit of drug indigestion, which after some time developed into a fully fledged addiction. Luigi, being the constant copycat, even faked taking drugs to be more like his big brother.
Constant drug use and unresearched side effects of Mario’s favorite drugs – a kind of fungi – has rendered Mario’s body in a solemn shape and has slowed his growth substantially, while Luigi, not actually taking the drugs, grew quite tall. Unfortunately, the long years of shroom indigestion and life in a dream-like haze has rendered most of Mario’s grey matter dead, leaving him an infantile babbling, midget in desperate need of a shower, a change of clothes, and a barber shop.
The pair made their way through most of the world, meanwhile evading many criminal charges that were raised against them, but too long a period of carelessness has now found them both admitted to a psychiatric clinic. Mario has denied all contact with his father, who is not only mourning the loss of his sons, but also the subsequent suicide of his wife, Peach. Instead of conversation, all that Mario can produce are accusations of kidnapping and the inane ramblings of a madman.

– REAL WORLD MUSHROOM KINGDOM -

In the very first Mario games he was actually a carpenter… I didn’t know this until I read one of the nintendo powers…

He was a carpenter at one point.

Go play Donkey Kong kids.

The word is “ingestion.”

Indigestion is what you get after eating at Taco Bell.