The Christian God will never give them up, and never let them down. By “them”, I mean all those people who were born and raised in West Philadelphia, and need prays to help their Uncle Phil find a job. Good job, internet.

Jesus, murdering in the name of…Jesus. I guess all those Koopa Troopas were homosexual. Yep, that seems right.

Pokemon? Evolution? Oh no, no, no. The church will not stand for this!

As if The Bible wasn’t aimed for the redneck population enough already. How could they resist buying this special edition Bible? Nascar and Jesus. Perfect combination. At the end, Jesus wins the Daytona 500.

Forget Jesus, forget Darwin, forget all you think you know about the importance of fish.

This is what happens when you play Halo 3 online, with the gamertag “Jesus Died LOL”. The best part has to be when a random kid says,”I’m gonna shoot you.” Thus, reinforcing the stereotype that religious people are violent gun loving rednecks; which is not really that much of a false classification. Also watch: Playing Halo 3 with the Gamertag “xxxGayBoyxxx”

This is true. Some questions cannot be answered by Google. That’s what Yahoo Answers is for! Not all questions can be answered by a certain religion’s scripture either. Not all questions can be answered, period. That’s what theory, scientific research, and open mindedness is for. This is almost as bad as that church sign that says, “If Your Faith is Big Enough, Facts Don’t Matter.”

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For only $6.66, you can show your support for Jesus! With a bargain like this, all the cool kids at school will be wearing their Jesus shirts, parents will save money on clothes, and all will be good in the world.